Golden Light

California Soil

As many of you guys know, back in the days I used to be a Los Angeles local. Indeed the first ever apartment I rented was in California and more specifically in Beverly Hills which was quite honestly an absolute dream come true as I grew up like many watching American teen flicks and rom coms. As many artists, I came to America pursuing my dreams and found so much solace and bewilderment in this highly contrasted city. I experienced the highest peaks of socialite living, adventure, crazy parties and lowest lows of absolute misery and solitude. It is quite a common thing to hear when people share about their time in L.A, there’s always somewhat of a bittersweet aftertaste about it. But still so good that we keep coming back for more. You see, the thing about L.A is that it’s a huge urban jungle surrounded by hills and nature. Unlike Paris, New York or London, Los Angeles is surrounded by lush nature and it is so easy to go on hikes or take a break by the beach. As much as you can be a “hustler” out here, a “ go getter” type of person, L.A is filled with people focused on their health, wellness and spirituality. The hippy culture is a big thing here with the Venice and Topanga influence. And you can really feel it when you come here. It’s not always the balanced or harmonious type of spirituality we’re talking about, sometimes it’s pretty much just out there. But you can truly also find actual pearls. Not only are there psychic medium shops every 2 blocks, but you can just sense the mystical atmosphere in the air. One of my personal favorites whenever I’m around is Erewhon, the well known boojee organic super market where you can find the fanciest organic goods, from probiotic sodas to crystal quartz infused ramen noodles, you name it.

So this year kicked off for me in the most surprising way possible as I landed in L.A early January for a project I had with one of the brands I work with. It has been so long ever since I’ve last been in L.A, the last time was for one of my music performances at Hotel Café a couple of years ago. This time I was here on my own and I had some free time before my project. It was so, so so bittersweet and yet honestly incredibly delicious to be back. I felt such an immense nostalgia, driving past all the places where I used to go, feeling like a local again. I went to get my matcha at my favorite usual spot, went to get my groceries and was prepping some favorite snacks in my hotel room feeling like I live here again. Such a profound joy filled my heart and I just knew that I would love California for the rest of my life. I believe that throughout our lifetime we get to discover places that drive an intrinsic connection with our souls, places that make us feel something very special at our very core, places that draw something unique out of us. L.A and Paris do this for me. It’s an unexplainable feeling. A feeling of being exactly where I’m supposed to be. I feel that way often in Switzerland too but yet again it’s somewhat different. California soil has it’s own texture, it’s own hue. And while I was there of course I had to play this very song by London Grammar throughout my entire trip as the very soundtrack of my days.

I was so happy to see some friends I haven’t seen in years. This whole stay felt absolutely magical and I truly realized that I have to come back more often. I’ve always said it, and no matter how cheesy it sounds (you guys know me, I love cheese) I truly believe I am a citizen of the world. Home is where our heart is first and foremost and yet we can grow so fond of certain places. I think L.A and Paris will always feel that way to me. No matter how much I love being back in Switzerland, back in the arms of nurturing mother Gaia, going to the forrest and getting lost in the fields, I know that traveling really does something so special to my spirit. It opens my heart, it soothes everything inside me and more and more I am able to retrieve that feeling in stillness too. It is such a blessing. This Earth is so marvelous with so many places to discover and so many adventures to be had and yet at the same time the wildest adventure we may have is the one happening inside of us right at this very second : with absolutely no need to go or be anywhere other that just fully present here and now.

With all of this being said, those of you following me on Instagram know what I am going to share… as I do have a very special announcement. It’s been two years in the making and I am finally honored a deeply excited to announce the launch of my new book “Through the Veils of Mystery” with my publisher Thought Catalog. This book is very big deal for me. Not only does it go in detail about my spiritual journey but it is also an initiation in and of itself, this text being channelled material. As the book titles explains it, the intention of this manuscript is to pierce the veils of illusions of this reality and to reveal ourselves, to ourselves, unveiling our hearts in the process. The first part of the text is my personal story as well as what happened to me late 2019 during my spiritual awakening. The rest of the text is an initiatory path through poetry as you will be walking through 7 activating gateways. This book has been healing me and transforming me in such profound ways, activating dormant aspects of my consciousness and assisting me on the path towards inner wholeness. The truth is we are already whole, yet there are veils that seem to be keeping us away from that reality. You can see my transformation simply by looking at my photos throughout the years on Instagram. In late 2019 I was drowning in darkness, sadness and melancholy. I was lost, confused. I had anxiety attacks and at times I felt like my heart would stop. After my spiritual awakening and when I started receiving the channelled material of this book, I started to feel clearer, to feel lighter. Answers were coming to me, teachers and guides were showing up. In divine humility I accepted the help, knowing my sensitivity is my power, knowing there is so much more to this life. I found the diamond at the center of my heart, the one that showed the infinite facets of my I Am Presence, the essence of who I am, of who we all are as pure crystalline energy manifesting, creating and experiencing. It is such a profound honor to share this book now with all of you. You can pre-order it by following this link.

Again I’d like to thank you for your support throughout the years, there is so much to come and I am so excited to share this new chapter with all of you. This book goes hand in hand with the music I have been writing as well. By discovering this book, you will get a glimpse at the music I will be releasing in due time. Trusting the blooming.

With my love.

Kristina

Dress Self Portrait // Boots Lola Cruz

Photography by Lindsay Kindelon

www.lindsaykindelon.com

@lindsaykindelon

Fairy Whispers

— New Beginnings —

Hi my loves, so happy to be checking in here and taking some time to lay down some words about this summer and the last couple of weeks. I remember the Kayture days when I used to write the longest articles every single day, feeling like time was running out, feeling like if I didn’t share content, if I didn’t release something on the internet : I simply didn’t exist. Since two years I feel like I have been unlearning so many things that have been affecting my mental health in such negative ways, but also appreciating all the incredible life experience I’ve acquired through these many years of working in the digital content creation industry. Appreciating all my hard work, my passion, dedication and will. I am still learning to balance, to find my peace in this crazy fast paced life, to create from the heart and not from pressure, to really allow myself to feel and especially honor my rhythm and body. I used to get sick so much in the past by pushing myself beyond my limits to the point of reaching burn outs and having to sleep for 48 hours straight without food to simply come back to life from over-working myself. I know the “influencer” activity has all sorts of stereotypes associated to it, but from my experience it is an activity so intimate, so inter-twined with personal life where it can be challenging to maintain healthy boundaries.

I feel like when I started Kayture in 2011 I was completely focused on success, I wanted to get myself out there, I was so focused, so determined, so competitive and ambitious. I had this inner fire which could make me work all night and wake up at 6am to get ready for a fashion show, change 4 times in a New York cab on my way to another event and finish the day at a dinner with a hundred people. That’s exactly the life I wanted : I wanted it fast, I wanted it big, I wanted it glamorous. And that’s what I got. However my life was only work. I was struggling so much in my romantic life and very rarely prioritized self care. The money was good, the reputation was good, but my energy levels were reaching their weakest point. So many things happened in the background, friends that betray you, brands who show no respect or loyalty, struggles with food and self image. Something in me was screaming : this is not who you really are. When I dyed my hair black and began focusing more on my music I felt like I began some deep shadow work. I started to look at these deeper parts of myself that needed so much attention, recognition and validation to feel good about myself. I started to look at why exactly am I having such a hard time in my romantic life. Why were my closest friends betraying me? Why weren’t my clients of many years being loyal to me when I felt like I was giving everyone all of me, my time, my efforts, my energy. These questions were starting to open some very deep wounds that I never took time to heal from my childhood and even deeper than that, karmic past life pattern that were becoming apparent. Music became my greatest teacher.

It caused me so much pain when my audience began asking me : aren’t you an influencer anymore? Why aren’t you blogging anymore? I was simply doing it my own way and I had never stopped blogging. You see the thing is, for many people, if you change the format, or if you do things a bit differently, they can’t put you in the same box as before. And I willingly wanted to create outside of boxes. I always had the deep belief that life is my canvas, that my life is my art and my art is my life. I can be a singer, an influencer, a model, a writer, a wife, a mother, a best friend and so much more. I can be all of it. I can change my hair, change my looks, switch it up, have fun. I can be me. I always felt like I had to justify myself to some people and it really took me some time to understand that trying to convince or explain to everyone my decisions is just a waste of my precious time. As a scorpio I work in silence, and then I share the fruits when they are ripe. Also as an empath I deeply care about my audience which I consider to be my soul tribe, my community that made me learn and grow so incredibly much. I pride myself in having so many deeply wise, profound, kind and compassionate individuals on their soul path following my adventures since years, and yes in many ways each opinion matters to me as we are reflections of one another. I am now learning to find the balance of hearing the opinions, being open to the kaleidoscope of view points, and being happy with exactly where I am while always open to learn, educate myself and expand.

As you know I have been living in Paris for the last 5 and a half years. I moved to Paris when I signed with a record label here and Paris became my love. I rented the most delightful apartment which became my temple and wrote so much music in there. Since the last two years though I felt like I was coming to a close of my deep shadow work timeframe. I have explored the literal caves of my being. I’ve been the hermit and with my torch I went all in to see where I needed some deep love and care, where the wounds were still open, where I was still so deeply hurting but showing no one. I realized that you can’t sweep anything under the rug, the more you do, the more certain aspects of yourself will attack you asking you : how could you abandon me? How could you ignore me like this? How could you silence this profound need of mine? You see when you run on empty, you repress so much. And when you open the closet, so much comes out. It’s about loving yourself back to wholeness.

It felt like I went from one extreme, bubble and pop, to the other one, dark and deep, to actually find myself standing right there in the middle : in my sovereignty, in my own self recognition, in my goddess energy as my higher self whispering to me “ Welcome home”. Since my spiritual awakening in 2019, I’ve being doing so much integration work and I understand now that I am the merging of Yin and Yang. I am whole. And that is the new beginning that is happening in my life now as I decided to return back to Source and actually move back to Switzerland to live closer to nature. It has become an actual necessity for me to have my feet in the grass, to sing to the river and have it sing back to me, to gently let trees support and accompany me on my spiritual journey here as a human being. I feel so grateful to be at peace with this decision and I know that I will always have a foot in Paris, as it is my love after all. I know that the calm and serene environment in Switzerland will greatly infuse my content, music and just overall creativity with the power and might of nature’s wisdom which is really what I want to channel into all of my art, whether it is through social media or my other projects. I also want it to be clear, I am so passionate about content creation. No matter what other activities I take on such as music, writing books, or maybe being a mom one day, I will always be a content creator at heart. That is how I started and that is truly something that brings so much joy to me, to have this direct interaction with you guys. So whenever you see that I’m not posting for a while don’t just assume that I quit, or that I’m no longer doing influencer jobs, or that I consider myself only a singer now. I’ve always been here, and I’m not ready to go anywhere. Honestly, I feel like I’m just getting started…

With all my love,

Kristins

Photography @paulinedarley

Dress : Self Portrait

Satori Garden

Definition of Satori : Satori (悟り) is a Japanese Buddhist term for awakening, "comprehension; understanding". It is derived from the Japanese verb satoru. In the Zen Buddhist tradition, satori refers to a deep experience of kenshō, "seeing into one's true nature". Ken means "seeing," shō means "nature" or "essence". Satori and kenshō are commonly translated as enlightenment, a word that is also used to translate bodhi, prajñā and Buddhahood.

I have no words to express how excited I am to share these images with you today which are filled with so much story and meaning. As you might know if you follow me on social media, I am all about balance and truly tuning into my own creative rhythm, like the cycles of nature or the tides of the moon waning and waxing. Respecting and honoring without forcing or pushing. I believe it is so important to trust our creative process and how it wishes to manifest. Since the beginning of my career I’ve always said that I have no interest in following trends, I’d rather make my own. Although of course some trends are indeed so fun and I love having a playful time with fashion and experimenting with beauty. And this goes as well with how I produce and share content, the energy that is behind it. In a world that seems so incredibly fast paced, I love find safe heavens, digitals portals that lead us into creative temples where we feel transported into our own inner peace. That has always been my wish for Kaza ☉ Bazan and I can see how it is manifesting now with the content that is slowly emerging. You can’t force a flower to bloom it has it’s own proper timing, your love will water it with delicate care and optimize it’s growth. That is how I feel about my life. I’ve always been an ambitious woman and my ambition sometimes took ahold of me and of my sanity. Where there is overwhelm there is misbalance. I now love savoring with delectation the sweet pace of my life and working on new projects, including this platform for which I have so many beautiful ideas. But each one in it’s rightful time.

I had heard of this incredible place near Paris called the Parc Départemental Albert Kahn and when I saw images of it, it looked exactly like some gardens I visited when I was in Japan. I have such a deep love relationship with Japan, it’s one of the very first cities I visited when I started my first blog Kayture and it’s culture remains so dear to me : with such a deep reverence for nature, wisdom, detail and slow life. I personally love a balanced life. A mix of passion with hints of contemplation, that’s my cocktail. Of course you could say Tokyo is nothing like this and there are many facets to Japan, like to each country. Yet there is something so fascinating about the Japanese mentality. To me it represents grace and harmony. I instantly felt like this set of image should carry the title of Satori. Above this text you can find the definition of this word which eventually simply means enlightenment. This is how I felt when entering this garden. A deep sense of remembrance or being One with All. I had the absolute delight to work on these stunning photos with my dear friend Pauline Darley who is quite the expert when it comes to discussing the magic of life, art and dreamy landscapes. We talked about our love for creativity, while making these photos in the most spontaneous and heartfelt way. I highly recommend you guys to go and check out her work on Instagram @paulinedarley as she very often publishes stories about her various ancient castles, sacred sites and beautiful enigmatic art visits. I’ve certainly discovered many fascinating things through her unique lense. It’s so refreshing to meet artists and creators who do their own thing, in their own way and don’t necessarily follow the rules of what’s trendy out there. That’s what has always so deeply inspired me, to pursue the path of inner self discovery and being the most authentic creator possible. Authenticity to me is the art of depth, the art of soulfulness. It’s a subtle dance that constantly asks : what’s alive for you right now? How do you love right now? Authenticity always brings you back to the present moment. The present being the gift itself.

Recently I also published a podcast episode in both french and english (you can listen to it here, it’s also available on any other streaming platform of your choosing) on the fascinating topic of culture. It’s so liberating to do these podcasts honestly, it’s just such an open, unfiltered and raw form of expression and I absolutely love it. I also want to thank each and every one of you who wrote me after listening to it as it truly means so much to me and I have so much gratitude and reverence for each one of your stories and feedback. Culture is such an interesting topic as it addresses those aspects of life that bring us together in celebration. Cultural beliefs, cultural ideologies, traditions that shape people, countries and continents. To me the beauty of humanity is it’s eclectic essence, it’s multidimensionality. We are like snowflakes, to each one it’s own unique shape, and yet we are all formed by Water, the Ocean of Consciousness, the Infinite Multi-Verse we are, experiencing itself in this sacred dance. I believe in us writing new stories of unity, of coming together, new stories of brining ourselves back into unconditional love in our totality, all parts and all aspects of ourselves. A new Renaissance. A New Earth such as Eckhart Tolle wrote about in this wondrous book.

I get a lot of questions about what unconditional love really is? How to let go of certain beliefs? How to actually experience Oneness? How to actually feel into the Quantum Field of All and truly know on a visceral level that we are Source experiencing itself. And the only thing I can say is : let life guide you. Let love show you. If you feel like you’ve never experienced love before, if you feel like no one taught you how to love, teach it to yourself, show yourself the path for it’s right there within and you know it. You know what to do, your unlimited, expanded self knows what to do. Surrender to the silence within you. This is the easiest and fastest path. And yet that is the doorstep many are scared to walk. It’s the void energy, that absolute space where all creativity emerges from. That silent ocean from which emerges all music and all vibration. In meditation connect to the very center of your heart and focus on the word Satori and just breath. Listen to your breath and allow it to guide you. Allow your body to guide you back into silence, allow Earth to hold you like a Mother, allow sky to watch over you like a Father, allow the stars to embellish and enlighten your inner gaze like your cosmic, ever-present and ever-lasting brothers and sisters. Allow your deepest wisdom to guide you through the many gateways of your consciousness. Sure some thoughts might arise like waves on an ocean. You get to feel them. You get to let them pass through you. You get to allow the emotions to be and to move. Beyond all this is Satori. It’s right here. It’s right now. Within All and at All times for us simply to tune in.

Spirituality to me is truly the path of integrity, integrity as wholeness, as totality, the path of unconditional love, the path of recognition. Recognizing we are one with all and how the outside doesn’t really exist : it’s an illusion. Without the vessel of your seemingly body : all that is, is consciousness, is the quantum field itself. Your body included is made of vibration. Is infinity. This is the very principle described in Buddhism as Samsara. Samsara is like the most subtle ethereal reality experience : whatever beliefs, whatever thought-forms, whatever identities you assign, whatever stories, whatever emotional charges you experience within in your inner narratives, you will experience externally. Life is truly so miraculous you see. We are infinite creativity experiencing itself. I meditate a lot on wealth and my greatest wish is for all humanity to manifest and experience wealth consciousness as a frequency that simply already exists and that we can attune ourselves to and never look back. I am currently reading the wonderful book called “Abundance” by Deepak Chopra and highly recommend it. I also really recommend the book “Busting Loose from the Money Game” which is another very, very powerful book on wealth consciousness. Don’t get duped by it’s tacky cover. This book is a very profound initiation with a lot of explanation on the latest quantum physics discoveries about our reality and how our mindset, beliefs and ways of thinking completely shape the trajectory of our adventure here. I know how easy it is to blame something our someone for where we are. And yet, to reclaim our sovereignty is to recognize we are infinite creation experiencing it’s vastness through tangible experiences. From a certain point of view the infinity we are, is neutral, it doesn’t judge. It allows for movies and stories to unfold. We are the writers, the painters, the poets. We are responsible : response + able = able to respond. I know it is tempting to think technology will solve all our “issues”. Yet technology always reflects our level of consciousness based on how we program it. And the truth is we haven’t even fully discovered the full vastness of our own inner potentials as studies show that we use only 10% of our brain capacity, that being mostly our left brain which is dedicated to analytical, logical, information synthesis. Can you imagine what happens when we activate the dormant 90%? What happens then? I’ll let you think about it.

So the questions are. If nothing was good or bad, what would you want to experience? If nothing was better or worse, simply experience, what would you want? If you had nothing to learn, what would you want? If you felt no external pressure, no external interference, what would you want? If nothing was destined, fated, or meant to be, what would you want? What are the stories that move you, what are the movies you love, is it what you want?

I’ll let you introspect on these few questions. These are great journal prompts ;)

And I am so deeply delighted to share these pictures with you. Enjoy them and I’ll speak to you very soon.

With all my Love,

Kristina

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Credits

Photography : Pauline Darley @paulinedarley

Dress : Sandra Mansour

Clutch : Vintage ( no specific brand or tag )